Whispers from the Heart Page 8
One
R egina Preston eased back in the burgundy leather chair. She
was the first one in the conference room today; she needed to
get a seat facing the door. It was early morning, a Friday.
Outside, the birds were chirping, the sun was blinding and the
air was thick with the wonderful fragrance of a multitude of
flowers and almost no humidity. She loved Houston any time of
year, but the weeks before Fall was her favorite. It matched her
mood. Viverent and alive, she was on cloud nine.
Her dark eyes fell to the crumpled letter lying on the table in
front of her, a letter that could possibly change her life. It had
been written five months ago; still, it waited to be given to a
man she couldn’t shake from her dreams. Her lips tightened
with grim resolve, today she would do it, and she would ask him
out on a date!
It was time for the weekly staff meeting, the perfect time for her
to make her move. Shooting a quick look to her left, she tried to
control her rapid heartbeat. With every glance at the door, a
nervous quiver settled in her stomach and wouldn’t let go. He
wasn’t here yet. She relaxed, and absently straightened her skirt.
Today of all days she had to look good. She’d dressed to
perfection, in a sky blue suit that hugged every curve she
owned. Her make-up was slamming and her hair was pinned up
and shining with curls. A little dab of her favorite perfume on
each wrist and she was ready to go.
For a brief instant, a frown tightened her otherwise smooth
brow, and doubt reared its ugly head. She’d come a long way
from the bucktooth, pencil thin little girl who’d always been
told she would never amount to anything. She had gained a
confidence that had been hard won. She was her own woman,
who lived by her own rules and today she would prove that fact.
But panic would not leave her heart. Could she do this? Was she
that brave? Gina shook it off; she forced herself to think of
simple things. Things she could control. Things that couldn’t
break her heart.
Today was a good day and she couldn’t stop smiling. Yesterday
she’d secured her fourth big client this year and it was only
August. Not bad for a woman right out of school. The switch
from business administration to marketing had paid off. She’d
more than proven her worth to her boss, and this small
Advertising agency was the better for it.
Father will be pleased.
She froze, and bit the inside of her lower lip. Some of her
happiness began to dim. No, she stiffened her shoulders. I won’
t ruin my day by thinking about him. Resolve firmly in place,
she turned her mind to more pressing issues.
One
R egina Preston eased back in the burgundy leather chair. She
was the first one in the conference room today; she needed to
get a seat facing the door. It was early morning, a Friday.
Outside, the birds were chirping, the sun was blinding and the
air was thick with the wonderful fragrance of a multitude of
flowers and almost no humidity. She loved Houston any time of
year, but the weeks before Fall was her favorite. It matched her
mood. Viverent and alive, she was on cloud nine.
Her dark eyes fell to the crumpled letter lying on the table in
front of her, a letter that could possibly change her life. It had
been written five months ago; still, it waited to be given to a
man she couldn’t shake from her dreams. Her lips tightened
with grim resolve, today she would do it, and she would ask him
out on a date!
It was time for the weekly staff meeting, the perfect time for her
to make her move. Shooting a quick look to her left, she tried to
control her rapid heartbeat. With every glance at the door, a
nervous quiver settled in her stomach and wouldn’t let go. He
wasn’t here yet. She relaxed, and absently straightened her skirt.
Today of all days she had to look good. She’d dressed to
perfection, in a sky blue suit that hugged every curve she
owned. Her make-up was slamming and her hair was pinned up
and shining with curls. A little dab of her favorite perfume on
each wrist and she was ready to go.
For a brief instant, a frown tightened her otherwise smooth
brow, and doubt reared its ugly head. She’d come a long way
from the bucktooth, pencil thin little girl who’d always been
told she would never amount to anything. She had gained a
confidence that had been hard won. She was her own woman,
who lived by her own rules and today she would prove that fact.
But panic would not leave her heart. Could she do this? Was she
that brave? Gina shook it off; she forced herself to think of
simple things. Things she could control. Things that couldn’t
break her heart.
Today was a good day and she couldn’t stop smiling. Yesterday
she’d secured her fourth big client this year and it was only
August. Not bad for a woman right out of school. The switch
from business administration to marketing had paid off. She’d
more than proven her worth to her boss, and this small
Advertising agency was the better for it.
Father will be pleased.
She froze, and bit the inside of her lower lip. Some of her
happiness began to dim. No, she stiffened her shoulders. I won’
t ruin my day by thinking about him. Resolve firmly in place,
she turned her mind to more pressing issues.
Page 9
She glanced at the gold and silver watch on her wrist. One of
the few gifts her fanatical sister had ever given her. She pushed
past a cold lump of anxiety. Life had taught her a hard lesson.
Ask, or you shall not receive. This was that decisive moment.
After seeing Steven and avoiding him for a solid year, she was
ready to give in and acknowledge the attraction. Distantly, she
heard light banter going on around her. “Hurry up Steven,” she
whispered her eyes on the door. “You have to get here before
Bachman, before I lose my nerve,” she crushed the well
planned letter in her wet palms; feeling more like a teenager
rather than a grown woman. But denial wasn’t her best quality,
it was time to put up or shut up.
Steven fascinated her, as no one else ever has, with his inky
curls, intense gray eyes, and firm unsmiling lips. He was silent,
and standoffish; he seemed like a hard man to understand. It
was as if life hadn’t been kind to him. Nothing about him had
ever given her the slightest indication that he was interested in
her, and yet she couldn't get him out of her mind.
Sometimes the look in his gunmetal gray eyes pulled at her.
They spoke to her in a language she didn’t understand, but
dearly wanted too. One look from those deep sexy eyes with
his incredibly long black lashes and she was immediately
reduced to a quivering mass of desire. She jumped; a hand on
her arm jarred her.
“Regina, did you get that Fitness account?” She turned to
Michael, careful to control her breathing. Her cheeks were
suddenly hot; she resisted the urge to fan herself. She lifted a
dark brow as her gaze followed Michael’s brown eyes up her
stocking clad legs.
He winked. “Nice view.”
She smiled determined to keep things light. “If you say so.”
“So, how did it go?”
She shifted until her legs were under the mahogany table.
“That’s for me to know and you to find out,” she said, her
eyes taking in his dark elegance. Michael was a high school
friend. She had been so happy to see he was working here
when she'd signed on that she'd forgotten his les than stellar
reputation with the ladies. He had closely cropped black
waves, and deep coco skin, he grinned at her with sparkling
brown eyes. He was fun to hang out with but that’s where it
ended. Her gaze skipped over his gray pleated trousers and
white linen shirt. He wore the black and gray striped tie she
bought him for Christmas last year which pleased her. He was
a fine looking man but too pushy and heavy handed for her
taste. The girls at the office talked regularly. Only the bravest
of them would even attempt to date him.
She glanced at the gold and silver watch on her wrist. One of
the few gifts her fanatical sister had ever given her. She pushed
past a cold lump of anxiety. Life had taught her a hard lesson.
Ask, or you shall not receive. This was that decisive moment.
After seeing Steven and avoiding him for a solid year, she was
ready to give in and acknowledge the attraction. Distantly, she
heard light banter going on around her. “Hurry up Steven,” she
whispered her eyes on the door. “You have to get here before
Bachman, before I lose my nerve,” she crushed the well
planned letter in her wet palms; feeling more like a teenager
rather than a grown woman. But denial wasn’t her best quality,
it was time to put up or shut up.
Steven fascinated her, as no one else ever has, with his inky
curls, intense gray eyes, and firm unsmiling lips. He was silent,
and standoffish; he seemed like a hard man to understand. It
was as if life hadn’t been kind to him. Nothing about him had
ever given her the slightest indication that he was interested in
her, and yet she couldn't get him out of her mind.
Sometimes the look in his gunmetal gray eyes pulled at her.
They spoke to her in a language she didn’t understand, but
dearly wanted too. One look from those deep sexy eyes with
his incredibly long black lashes and she was immediately
reduced to a quivering mass of desire. She jumped; a hand on
her arm jarred her.
“Regina, did you get that Fitness account?” She turned to
Michael, careful to control her breathing. Her cheeks were
suddenly hot; she resisted the urge to fan herself. She lifted a
dark brow as her gaze followed Michael’s brown eyes up her
stocking clad legs.
He winked. “Nice view.”
She smiled determined to keep things light. “If you say so.”
“So, how did it go?”
She shifted until her legs were under the mahogany table.
“That’s for me to know and you to find out,” she said, her
eyes taking in his dark elegance. Michael was a high school
friend. She had been so happy to see he was working here
when she'd signed on that she'd forgotten his les than stellar
reputation with the ladies. He had closely cropped black
waves, and deep coco skin, he grinned at her with sparkling
brown eyes. He was fun to hang out with but that’s where it
ended. Her gaze skipped over his gray pleated trousers and
white linen shirt. He wore the black and gray striped tie she
bought him for Christmas last year which pleased her. He was
a fine looking man but too pushy and heavy handed for her
taste. The girls at the office talked regularly. Only the bravest
of them would even attempt to date him.
Page 10
His grin turned wolfish. “There are many things about you I’d
like to find out,” he murmured, one finger running up the sleeve
of her shirt. His heated gaze worked its way up her body,
lingering at certain points.
She shifted, uncomfortable with his leering; Regina turned from
him and brushed his hand away. “Get lost Michael. I wish you’
d be serious for once.” Folding her arms over her chest, she
twisted her seat until her back was to him. She thought she’d
made herself clear to him a long time ago but obviously not.
He grabbed her seat, swinging her around to face him. “Don’t do
that Regina, you know you…”
She was just about to give him a piece of her mind but the words
stuck in her throat like peanut butter. Whatever he was saying
dimmed and faded as Steven walked through the door. Steel gray
eyes pinned her, and her eyes threatened to drift close as she
was drawn by his magnetism. Her heart froze. She shivered from
the intensity of his presence. She opened her mouth to speak,
but he was turning away, sliding into the seat next to Susan. She’
d never liked the perky blond but now she hated her! Hated the
way Steven’s eyes softened when he looked at the woman.
Hated the way she was allowed to lean close to him, and
whisper some soft comment in his ear.
Regina jerked her chair hard, loosening Michael’s hold. “Leave
me alone,” she grated, disappointment made her words sharp as
she turned away.
.....
“You’ve got to let this go!” Those blunt words followed Steven
Rugala no matter how hard he ran. It was late, nearly 9:30 p.m.
Black and cloudless, the night sky was blanketed with a sea of
stars but its beauty couldn’t break through his foul mood. He’d
set out for his nightly jog in the park behind the building where
he worked, but instead it turned into a marathon. He ran from
the ugliness filling his head. From the nightmare that started the
moment he was born, and had taken a turn for the worst with
the unexpected death of his father. He clenched his teeth and
replayed the scene from this morning.
He’d gone to his older brother’s apartment. Today was the only
day he didn’t want to face alone. “Chris!” He shouted walking
through the unlocked front door.
“What?” Came the short, some what testy reply.
Steve rounded the corner, mildly surprised to see him standing
in the living room with a towel wrapped around his slim waist
and his white shirt hanging open. “What, you’re out of bed? It’s
only ten thirty in the morning.” Steve teased, and then his eyes
narrowed. “Are you getting up or just going to bed?”
“Leave me alone, I’m not in the mood.” Chris shook his shaggy
blond mane and tightened the large towel.
“Don’t worry neither am I,” Steve walked into the room and
His grin turned wolfish. “There are many things about you I’d
like to find out,” he murmured, one finger running up the sleeve
of her shirt. His heated gaze worked its way up her body,
lingering at certain points.
She shifted, uncomfortable with his leering; Regina turned from
him and brushed his hand away. “Get lost Michael. I wish you’
d be serious for once.” Folding her arms over her chest, she
twisted her seat until her back was to him. She thought she’d
made herself clear to him a long time ago but obviously not.
He grabbed her seat, swinging her around to face him. “Don’t do
that Regina, you know you…”
She was just about to give him a piece of her mind but the words
stuck in her throat like peanut butter. Whatever he was saying
dimmed and faded as Steven walked through the door. Steel gray
eyes pinned her, and her eyes threatened to drift close as she
was drawn by his magnetism. Her heart froze. She shivered from
the intensity of his presence. She opened her mouth to speak,
but he was turning away, sliding into the seat next to Susan. She’
d never liked the perky blond but now she hated her! Hated the
way Steven’s eyes softened when he looked at the woman.
Hated the way she was allowed to lean close to him, and
whisper some soft comment in his ear.
Regina jerked her chair hard, loosening Michael’s hold. “Leave
me alone,” she grated, disappointment made her words sharp as
she turned away.
.....
“You’ve got to let this go!” Those blunt words followed Steven
Rugala no matter how hard he ran. It was late, nearly 9:30 p.m.
Black and cloudless, the night sky was blanketed with a sea of
stars but its beauty couldn’t break through his foul mood. He’d
set out for his nightly jog in the park behind the building where
he worked, but instead it turned into a marathon. He ran from
the ugliness filling his head. From the nightmare that started the
moment he was born, and had taken a turn for the worst with
the unexpected death of his father. He clenched his teeth and
replayed the scene from this morning.
He’d gone to his older brother’s apartment. Today was the only
day he didn’t want to face alone. “Chris!” He shouted walking
through the unlocked front door.
“What?” Came the short, some what testy reply.
Steve rounded the corner, mildly surprised to see him standing
in the living room with a towel wrapped around his slim waist
and his white shirt hanging open. “What, you’re out of bed? It’s
only ten thirty in the morning.” Steve teased, and then his eyes
narrowed. “Are you getting up or just going to bed?”
“Leave me alone, I’m not in the mood.” Chris shook his shaggy
blond mane and tightened the large towel.
“Don’t worry neither am I,” Steve walked into the room and
Page 11
threw himself on the dark brown couch. He stared with
unseeing eyes at the white ceiling. “Today is the anniversary.”
So many different emotions ran through him; he didn’t know
which one to deal with first. He was confused, and angry
enough to hit someone.
“I know,” Chris cleared his throat and cast a furtive glance over
his shoulder. “What do you want? I have company.”
Cold silver eyes turned to him. “When don’t you have
company?”
“I’m just making up for your lack of interest in the fairer sex,”
Chris sat beside him. “Why are you here? What happened to
that job of yours?”
Steve shrugged, and then leaned forward. He clasped his hands
letting them dangle between his spread knees. “I told them I’d
be in later,” he cast weary eyes on Chris. “The investigator I
hired turned up nothing.”
“Oh for Christ sake!” Chris jumped up. “Why?” His
movements were jerky with anger, he paced the small room. “I
told you but you had to do it anyway. Why?”
“Because it wasn’t suicide, maybe an accident but never
suicide,” he insisted. “I know Dad, he’d never take his own life.
Besides, there would’ve been a note. There is always a note.”
“There was no note!” Chris snapped. “Why is it so impossible
for you to believe? You don’t know how withdrawn he became
when you left. He spent hours alone in his study. He and
mother grew apart, not that that was any surprise. Christ Steve,
he only smiled when Maggie was around which was rare
because of medical school.”
“So,” Steve said, his head lowered, self-disgustchoked him, “it
was my fault,” his hands tightened into fists. Tormented
gunmetal gray eyes turned to Chris. “Rose blames me too
doesn’t she?”
“Damn it! This is why I never told you. You always take
everything so personally!” Chris yelled standing in front of
Steve with his hands balled into fists at his sides. “Don’t start
taking the blame for this. If anyone is to blame it’s that witch of
a mother we have.”
“Stop it!” Steve roared, jumping from the couch with the speed
of light, his face contorted with righteous fury. He grabbed
Chris’ shirt. “She isn’t to blame for any of this. She’s suffered
just like the rest of you. It’s my fault! Don’t you see Chris,
everything I touch turns rotten! I’m a grown man! I can’t run
from the truth anymore.”
“Bullshit!” Chris scowled, clutching Steve’s wrists; he pulled
hard until he was able to fling his hands from him. “If it wasn’t
for her you wouldn’t have left. She ruined our family,” he
snapped impatiently, “if you can call it that. That bitch cares
for no one but herself! If you ask me, she drove both you and
Dad away.”
threw himself on the dark brown couch. He stared with
unseeing eyes at the white ceiling. “Today is the anniversary.”
So many different emotions ran through him; he didn’t know
which one to deal with first. He was confused, and angry
enough to hit someone.
“I know,” Chris cleared his throat and cast a furtive glance over
his shoulder. “What do you want? I have company.”
Cold silver eyes turned to him. “When don’t you have
company?”
“I’m just making up for your lack of interest in the fairer sex,”
Chris sat beside him. “Why are you here? What happened to
that job of yours?”
Steve shrugged, and then leaned forward. He clasped his hands
letting them dangle between his spread knees. “I told them I’d
be in later,” he cast weary eyes on Chris. “The investigator I
hired turned up nothing.”
“Oh for Christ sake!” Chris jumped up. “Why?” His
movements were jerky with anger, he paced the small room. “I
told you but you had to do it anyway. Why?”
“Because it wasn’t suicide, maybe an accident but never
suicide,” he insisted. “I know Dad, he’d never take his own life.
Besides, there would’ve been a note. There is always a note.”
“There was no note!” Chris snapped. “Why is it so impossible
for you to believe? You don’t know how withdrawn he became
when you left. He spent hours alone in his study. He and
mother grew apart, not that that was any surprise. Christ Steve,
he only smiled when Maggie was around which was rare
because of medical school.”
“So,” Steve said, his head lowered, self-disgustchoked him, “it
was my fault,” his hands tightened into fists. Tormented
gunmetal gray eyes turned to Chris. “Rose blames me too
doesn’t she?”
“Damn it! This is why I never told you. You always take
everything so personally!” Chris yelled standing in front of
Steve with his hands balled into fists at his sides. “Don’t start
taking the blame for this. If anyone is to blame it’s that witch of
a mother we have.”
“Stop it!” Steve roared, jumping from the couch with the speed
of light, his face contorted with righteous fury. He grabbed
Chris’ shirt. “She isn’t to blame for any of this. She’s suffered
just like the rest of you. It’s my fault! Don’t you see Chris,
everything I touch turns rotten! I’m a grown man! I can’t run
from the truth anymore.”
“Bullshit!” Chris scowled, clutching Steve’s wrists; he pulled
hard until he was able to fling his hands from him. “If it wasn’t
for her you wouldn’t have left. She ruined our family,” he
snapped impatiently, “if you can call it that. That bitch cares
for no one but herself! If you ask me, she drove both you and
Dad away.”
Page 12
Something broke inside Steve. Years of pain turned into a roar
of pure rage, he grabbed Chris and slammed him into the wall.
One big fist raised high ready to deliver a blow to Chris’
grinning face. He stopped dead, his jaw clenched and his nostrils
flared with fury. That silly smile did what it always did. It took
the fire right out of him. Chris cared about him. He had always
been there; Steve closed his eyes briefly and looked away.
“What are you going to do?” Chris cocked a taunting pale brow.
“You gonna hit me Steve? If so get it over with. But I suggest
you remember the last time you did.”
Steve pushed away from him and walked to the couch. “Shut
up Chris, I can’t listen to you. You just don’t understand.”
“No, you don’t understand,” Chris sighed. “There are things
you know nothing about. It all started long before you were
even born.”
Steve turned narrowed eyes on him. “How the hell do you
know?”
“Because I was there,” Chris said, falling to the couch beside
Steve.
“Give me a break, you’re only three and a half years older than
me, how could you know anything?”
“Because they might not seem like much, but to me it’s like a
life time.” Chris sighed longingly, “Mother used to be sweet,
even a bit loving. Then she changed, she turned into the meanest
bitch this side of the Mississippi River.” Chris speared Steve
with a dark look. “I’m telling you she drove everyone away.”
Steve raked one hand through his tousled hair and stood up. He
walked a few steps away. “She did no such thing! I left because
of what I did. I was stupid and careless. If I had listened to Dad
none of this would’ve happened.”
Chris followed him. “Stevie none of this is your fault. What do
you care anyway? You never liked that witch. And since when
do you call her Rose?”
Steve stiffened, his eyes darkened, “I figured with Dad gone I’d
honor her wishes. She never liked it when I called her mother.”
“That bitch,” Chris growled.
“Stop it!” Steve warned icily, “I’m a grown man; I know what I
want and what I need. Why pretend? She and I never had a
relationship, so why should that change now?”
“The least she could’ve done was act semi maternal! For Christ
sake Steve, how can she continue to do this to you?”
“She did it because I let her. I did it for Dad’s sake.” Steve
shrugged and shoved his hand into the pockets of his slacks. He
realized in that moment how true those words were. “Now,
there is no need.”
“I never could understand her attitude towards you.”
“You said it yourself; everything was fine until I was born.
Then it went to hell in a hand basket.”
“Steve, that’s not what I said.”
Something broke inside Steve. Years of pain turned into a roar
of pure rage, he grabbed Chris and slammed him into the wall.
One big fist raised high ready to deliver a blow to Chris’
grinning face. He stopped dead, his jaw clenched and his nostrils
flared with fury. That silly smile did what it always did. It took
the fire right out of him. Chris cared about him. He had always
been there; Steve closed his eyes briefly and looked away.
“What are you going to do?” Chris cocked a taunting pale brow.
“You gonna hit me Steve? If so get it over with. But I suggest
you remember the last time you did.”
Steve pushed away from him and walked to the couch. “Shut
up Chris, I can’t listen to you. You just don’t understand.”
“No, you don’t understand,” Chris sighed. “There are things
you know nothing about. It all started long before you were
even born.”
Steve turned narrowed eyes on him. “How the hell do you
know?”
“Because I was there,” Chris said, falling to the couch beside
Steve.
“Give me a break, you’re only three and a half years older than
me, how could you know anything?”
“Because they might not seem like much, but to me it’s like a
life time.” Chris sighed longingly, “Mother used to be sweet,
even a bit loving. Then she changed, she turned into the meanest
bitch this side of the Mississippi River.” Chris speared Steve
with a dark look. “I’m telling you she drove everyone away.”
Steve raked one hand through his tousled hair and stood up. He
walked a few steps away. “She did no such thing! I left because
of what I did. I was stupid and careless. If I had listened to Dad
none of this would’ve happened.”
Chris followed him. “Stevie none of this is your fault. What do
you care anyway? You never liked that witch. And since when
do you call her Rose?”
Steve stiffened, his eyes darkened, “I figured with Dad gone I’d
honor her wishes. She never liked it when I called her mother.”
“That bitch,” Chris growled.
“Stop it!” Steve warned icily, “I’m a grown man; I know what I
want and what I need. Why pretend? She and I never had a
relationship, so why should that change now?”
“The least she could’ve done was act semi maternal! For Christ
sake Steve, how can she continue to do this to you?”
“She did it because I let her. I did it for Dad’s sake.” Steve
shrugged and shoved his hand into the pockets of his slacks. He
realized in that moment how true those words were. “Now,
there is no need.”
“I never could understand her attitude towards you.”
“You said it yourself; everything was fine until I was born.
Then it went to hell in a hand basket.”
“Steve, that’s not what I said.”
Page 13
“It’s of no use now anyway,” he couldn’t look at Chris. He
wouldn’t let anyone see his pain. “She’s your mother; I have to
at least respect her for that.”
Chris gave a short snort. “Don’t you start that again. She’s your
mother too and you damned well know it.”
“No Chris,” he gritted, “I don’t know it!”
“Steve,” Chris sighed, “don’t get all crazy on me.”
“I respect her because she raised me. That’s all. That and she
gave me you, Maggie, and Jake. Other than that she’s no one to
me.”
“Don’t tell me you’re going soft,” Chris laughed but it sounded
more like a cough.
“Not soft,” Steve insisted his brow creased in a tight frown. “I
can admit ya’ll mean a lot to me. Honestly,” he penned Chris
with a suddenly calm look, “I’m glad I’m home, it’s nice to have
someone to fight with.”
“Not as glad as I am to have you back,” Chris chuckled, and
walked to Steve’s side. “It’s been hard not having a little brother
to beat on,” he threw a comforting arm around Steve’s stiff
shoulders. Steve past him in height by three inches and out
weighted him by fifty pounds. He was six five and all
muscle.
“But you have to let it go Stevie. Dad wouldn’t want you
throwing away your life like this.”
“I think…”
“I know what you should be thinking,” Chris said, a crafty grin
lifting one side of his lips, but Steve saw tension lines still framed
his pale blue eyes. “I’ve yet to see you date anyone. Put all this
behind you. Start thinking about what you want out of life. You’
ll be thirty soon, that witch will be looking for Grand kids.
Heaven knows she gave up on Jake and me a long time ago. You
need to think about what you want out of life, forget the past and
try to be happy.”
Steve ran harder; sweat drenched his black shorts and white T-
shirt. His body burned, and stung but still he ran. Harder then he’
d ever run, even in his Military days. For ten years, he’d managed
to hide from the world amongst the nameless, faceless millions in
the Marines. Safe from the world. Safe from life, hoping to escape
the nightmares that had plagued him for so long.
However, escape was not to be. With one quick message from
home, freedom was gone. A heavy darkness gripped his heart; it
held him down refusing to allow him to breath. Get on with your
life. The words rang in his ears like a tribal chant. He slowed his
pace as thoughts of his mother inundated him.
Three times this week she’d called. Always it was the same. How
are you doing? What are you doing? Have you met anyone yet?
Strangely, it pleased him and yet he couldn’t help but wonder
why, she would even bother? What does she want? She hadn’t
said as much as two words to him since long before his father’s
death. That in itself wasn’t unusual, but this acting as if
“It’s of no use now anyway,” he couldn’t look at Chris. He
wouldn’t let anyone see his pain. “She’s your mother; I have to
at least respect her for that.”
Chris gave a short snort. “Don’t you start that again. She’s your
mother too and you damned well know it.”
“No Chris,” he gritted, “I don’t know it!”
“Steve,” Chris sighed, “don’t get all crazy on me.”
“I respect her because she raised me. That’s all. That and she
gave me you, Maggie, and Jake. Other than that she’s no one to
me.”
“Don’t tell me you’re going soft,” Chris laughed but it sounded
more like a cough.
“Not soft,” Steve insisted his brow creased in a tight frown. “I
can admit ya’ll mean a lot to me. Honestly,” he penned Chris
with a suddenly calm look, “I’m glad I’m home, it’s nice to have
someone to fight with.”
“Not as glad as I am to have you back,” Chris chuckled, and
walked to Steve’s side. “It’s been hard not having a little brother
to beat on,” he threw a comforting arm around Steve’s stiff
shoulders. Steve past him in height by three inches and out
weighted him by fifty pounds. He was six five and all
muscle.
“But you have to let it go Stevie. Dad wouldn’t want you
throwing away your life like this.”
“I think…”
“I know what you should be thinking,” Chris said, a crafty grin
lifting one side of his lips, but Steve saw tension lines still framed
his pale blue eyes. “I’ve yet to see you date anyone. Put all this
behind you. Start thinking about what you want out of life. You’
ll be thirty soon, that witch will be looking for Grand kids.
Heaven knows she gave up on Jake and me a long time ago. You
need to think about what you want out of life, forget the past and
try to be happy.”
Steve ran harder; sweat drenched his black shorts and white T-
shirt. His body burned, and stung but still he ran. Harder then he’
d ever run, even in his Military days. For ten years, he’d managed
to hide from the world amongst the nameless, faceless millions in
the Marines. Safe from the world. Safe from life, hoping to escape
the nightmares that had plagued him for so long.
However, escape was not to be. With one quick message from
home, freedom was gone. A heavy darkness gripped his heart; it
held him down refusing to allow him to breath. Get on with your
life. The words rang in his ears like a tribal chant. He slowed his
pace as thoughts of his mother inundated him.
Three times this week she’d called. Always it was the same. How
are you doing? What are you doing? Have you met anyone yet?
Strangely, it pleased him and yet he couldn’t help but wonder
why, she would even bother? What does she want? She hadn’t
said as much as two words to him since long before his father’s
death. That in itself wasn’t unusual, but this acting as if
Page 15
“Let me hold you. That’s all, I just need to feel you next to me,
warm and soft and alive,” he whispered against her cheek.
Her brow knitted in a deep frown, then her hands wrapped in
his damp shirt, tightening into fists. She’d never seen him as
anything other than strong, confident and as remote as a robot.
This was a different person. This was a human being, living, and
breathing, feeling and he needed her. Then his body jerked, she
blinked, and felt tremors race through him. Amazement held her
still for an instant.
He was crying.
“No, Steven don’t, oh please baby, don’t do this. Whatever it is
I know it’ll be okay.” Regina pulled him closer, slowly running
her hands up and down his broad back trying to soothe him. She
never realized she’d used the endearment from her dreams.
Gently, she rocked him until the tremors stop and his breathing
slowed.
Suddenly something changed; she felt it in the way he held her.
Swallowing hard, she leaned away to look into his face. Her
hands found his strong-corded neck; the warm throbbing pulse
matched the furious beat of her own. Then his lips touched hers,
softly at first, and then more demanding until his tongue danced
with hers.
She moaned deep in her throat, her eyes drifted close and she
savored the strength of him, the feel of him, the taste of him, it
was straight from her dreams. For a moment the thought
frightened her, fleetingly she realized they didn’t really know
each other. They had never said five words to each other and
yet here she stood in the dark wrapped in his big, strong arms
kissing him as if she had done it all her life!
Abruptly, he broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against hers,
his harsh breath scorched her flushed cheek. “I’m sorry,” he
whispered, “forget this ever happened.” Untangling his arms
from hers, and he turned and walked into the trees only to
disappear from sight.
....
“Let me hold you. That’s all, I just need to feel you next to me,
warm and soft and alive,” he whispered against her cheek.
Her brow knitted in a deep frown, then her hands wrapped in
his damp shirt, tightening into fists. She’d never seen him as
anything other than strong, confident and as remote as a robot.
This was a different person. This was a human being, living, and
breathing, feeling and he needed her. Then his body jerked, she
blinked, and felt tremors race through him. Amazement held her
still for an instant.
He was crying.
“No, Steven don’t, oh please baby, don’t do this. Whatever it is
I know it’ll be okay.” Regina pulled him closer, slowly running
her hands up and down his broad back trying to soothe him. She
never realized she’d used the endearment from her dreams.
Gently, she rocked him until the tremors stop and his breathing
slowed.
Suddenly something changed; she felt it in the way he held her.
Swallowing hard, she leaned away to look into his face. Her
hands found his strong-corded neck; the warm throbbing pulse
matched the furious beat of her own. Then his lips touched hers,
softly at first, and then more demanding until his tongue danced
with hers.
She moaned deep in her throat, her eyes drifted close and she
savored the strength of him, the feel of him, the taste of him, it
was straight from her dreams. For a moment the thought
frightened her, fleetingly she realized they didn’t really know
each other. They had never said five words to each other and
yet here she stood in the dark wrapped in his big, strong arms
kissing him as if she had done it all her life!
Abruptly, he broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against hers,
his harsh breath scorched her flushed cheek. “I’m sorry,” he
whispered, “forget this ever happened.” Untangling his arms
from hers, and he turned and walked into the trees only to
disappear from sight.
....
Page 14
she cared? It would be too little too late.
Steve felt the same sick pull in his stomach every time he thought
of those years. The sad little boy he had been, crying for his
mothers love. How pathetic, begging for even a pat on his head, or a
kiss on the cheek! He gave a sharp bark of bitter laughter. Devil’s
Spawn. She would hiss those words at him whenever his father
wasn’t around. He could still feel the cold spray of her saliva on his
face. She had been very careful to keep her hatred between the two
of them. He didn’t really blame her; she probably had every right to
feel that way. All he wanted was to know why.
He wondered briefly if she knew about the investigation. Probably
not, if she did there would be hell to pay. Nonetheless, this was his
moment; his chance to prove to her that his father hadn’t been a
coward. If it meant opening old wounds, Steve was more than
prepared to do it.
After all this time he still had nothing to show. Again, he had failed
to be the perfect son. Failed to be like Jacob. Her sweet, perfect
pale blond Jacob, the one person she loved above all else. No wild,
dark eyed, black haired maniac like himself could ever win her heart.
Not that he wanted to, he had given up that goal a long time ago.
Steve had to continue his efforts to find the guilty party. His eyes
squeezed tight as he thought of his father. Today, on the very day
he had been killed, it had been so hard to go to the grave site empty
handed.
Steve stopped in the middle of the path, bending at the waist, he
tried to catch his breath, his throat tightened as he fought to keep
the anguish in his heart at bay, but it ripped at him like a thousand
talons.
He owed him. Steve had to clear his father’s good name. It was the
least he could do after running out on the only person who had ever
loved him unconditionally. He pressed his hand tight to his side
and blinked rapidly to clear the stinging from his eyes. His head
was spinning with a deep emptiness he couldn’t shake.
Suddenly, there it was her perfume. His heart went out of control,
and his head came up; slowly he closed his eyes and inhaled
deeply. A fierce undeniable need grew inside him.
Regina found herself swept into strong arms. Steven’s heaving
chest pressed against hers. When she’d seen him pacing in the dim
light of the street lamps, she had been elated, this was her chance to
speak to him.
“Steven, are you alright?” She tried to search his face but she could
see nothing, the light was too dim. Hesitantly, she lifted her hand
and caressed his tight cheek. Warm wetness met her fingertips, her
heart squeezed. Tears?
“What happened?” Then he moved, leaning into her, he buried his
face in the grove of her neck and shoulder. She closed her eyes and
absorbed his nearness.
His voice was a soft, warm murmur against her ear as his hands slid
up her semi exposed back, pulling her into his embrace.
she cared? It would be too little too late.
Steve felt the same sick pull in his stomach every time he thought
of those years. The sad little boy he had been, crying for his
mothers love. How pathetic, begging for even a pat on his head, or a
kiss on the cheek! He gave a sharp bark of bitter laughter. Devil’s
Spawn. She would hiss those words at him whenever his father
wasn’t around. He could still feel the cold spray of her saliva on his
face. She had been very careful to keep her hatred between the two
of them. He didn’t really blame her; she probably had every right to
feel that way. All he wanted was to know why.
He wondered briefly if she knew about the investigation. Probably
not, if she did there would be hell to pay. Nonetheless, this was his
moment; his chance to prove to her that his father hadn’t been a
coward. If it meant opening old wounds, Steve was more than
prepared to do it.
After all this time he still had nothing to show. Again, he had failed
to be the perfect son. Failed to be like Jacob. Her sweet, perfect
pale blond Jacob, the one person she loved above all else. No wild,
dark eyed, black haired maniac like himself could ever win her heart.
Not that he wanted to, he had given up that goal a long time ago.
Steve had to continue his efforts to find the guilty party. His eyes
squeezed tight as he thought of his father. Today, on the very day
he had been killed, it had been so hard to go to the grave site empty
handed.
Steve stopped in the middle of the path, bending at the waist, he
tried to catch his breath, his throat tightened as he fought to keep
the anguish in his heart at bay, but it ripped at him like a thousand
talons.
He owed him. Steve had to clear his father’s good name. It was the
least he could do after running out on the only person who had ever
loved him unconditionally. He pressed his hand tight to his side
and blinked rapidly to clear the stinging from his eyes. His head
was spinning with a deep emptiness he couldn’t shake.
Suddenly, there it was her perfume. His heart went out of control,
and his head came up; slowly he closed his eyes and inhaled
deeply. A fierce undeniable need grew inside him.
Regina found herself swept into strong arms. Steven’s heaving
chest pressed against hers. When she’d seen him pacing in the dim
light of the street lamps, she had been elated, this was her chance to
speak to him.
“Steven, are you alright?” She tried to search his face but she could
see nothing, the light was too dim. Hesitantly, she lifted her hand
and caressed his tight cheek. Warm wetness met her fingertips, her
heart squeezed. Tears?
“What happened?” Then he moved, leaning into her, he buried his
face in the grove of her neck and shoulder. She closed her eyes and
absorbed his nearness.
His voice was a soft, warm murmur against her ear as his hands slid
up her semi exposed back, pulling her into his embrace.
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